Marriages in India — Aam Aurat’s perspective!
How many of you genuinely feel empowered, ladies?
They say “Marriages are made in Heaven”; then my question lies: Why are these 2 legged speaking creatures claiming themselves to be human beings have developed their hobby of unnecessarily exerting pressure on young girls to find life partners? Do they lack in their IQ of differentiating between heaven and earth? Or they simply don’t want to burden the Gods above and love to pretend like one? Anyway, in India, parents are worshiped before god; which means even before it clicks to the heaven dwellers of a boy and girl’s chemical equation; parents have already established chemistry by checking on family background, guy’s salary (conforming to being more than the girl’s, if she’s earning), property possessed by the family, matching of Kundalis and ensuring the couple looks cute together (“the made in heaven couples”). After a successful investigation, the inquiry is then sent to the heaven for liberal approvals, almost negligible. And then, starts the celebration of our country’s most enjoyed festive drama- Marriage! But hey! Did anybody pay heed to- “Is the girl ready for the marriage”?
Responses:
1.) “What hogwash! Of course she is, isn’t she 28 already”?
2.) “Her biological clock is ticking, if not now then when”?
3.) “If we don’t get her married in few years, we will be left with no good options later”
And ladies and gentlemen, the mother of all responses. The most baseless human -established truth
4.) “Every girl has to get married one day, there’s nothing like yes or no”
So no bringing jinx to this auspicious occasion by questioning- “Is the girl ready for the marriage ”?
Two serious situations:
- Refusal
The drama gets bigger and a bit bitter when girls refuse for marriage or wants to extend the time- this is also known as life threatening event for parents who have saved up their entire life just to spend on their daughter’s marriage irrespective of whether it will work or not. The celebration will be remembered by all. Now, the question pops up, how will you cope up with your daughters’ rejection/extension? Dude, there’s nothing called “coping up” for parents in this matter, it’s called making the girl cope-up with this harsh reality.
So let’s re-frame the question:
Q. What works best in forcibly convincing your daughters?
Answers:
a.) Deterioration of parents’ health contemplating of their daughters’ marriage
b.) Grandmother’s wish to see you getting married. And then have a kid, maybe kids.
c.) Every monster around including family, friends, neighbors and colleagues questioning “When are you getting married”? My response in my head- “Uh! I am awaiting a confirmation letter from Heaven”
2. Education
A lot of complications take birth if the girl is qualified from a renowned university, is a gold medalist in academics or has modern approach towards life- contemporary in thoughts and ahem, dressing. One of the neighbors or family members will be heard whispering “this is what leads to promoting woman empowerment”. End of story! We are back to square one — How many of you genuinely feel empowered, ladies? :)
Wrap up- The time has changed with new life styles emerging. Feminism is at its peak, which is good to hear. By eradicating practices of women infanticide and educating girl child doesn’t make you a gender balanced society. Equity exists in respecting both men and women’s thoughts, decisions and actions. Marriage is one factor which knowingly unknowingly resulting into severe depression cases mostly observed in women. It triggers various mental illnesses caused due to fear of adjusting life at somebody else’s house with their family by curbing your way of living, addition of a new member in your life beside whom you will wake up every morning, being responsive of your whereabouts to your partner (shakes your freedom and independence), handling dual responsibilities of maintaining healthy relationships between two families, struggle to not let your self identity and dreams destroy. Its a fear! Dealing with fear your entire life might kill you as a person from within.
I am not saying it is wrong. It is a beautiful experience in itself, but for the once who want to experience it and not forcibly made to experience it.
Marriage is not age bound, it is subjected to readiness. So, let’s push the boundaries and breathe :)
